


Rule Brittagnia

by TayBartlett9000



Category: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: Brexit, Britain, EU referendum, Gen, Monologue, that'll show Vyvyan, typical Rick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 11:14:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8011483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TayBartlett9000/pseuds/TayBartlett9000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick's thoughts after the eu referendum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rule Brittagnia

Rule Brittagnia.

By Tay Bartlett.

 

Well, this is it. A pivotal day in Britain’s history. I’m shocked. My teacup has fallen to the floor, my favourite one that is marked “Rick’s, keep off.” I haven’t even paused to pick up the pieces. My shock is just too great.

I never thought it would end up like this, even though the  vote came pretty bloody close in  the end. I thought when I looked at the poles before sleep that the old squares who run this country would find themselves safe behind the bars of  the bloody EU, but  no. Britain is free at last, free at long bloody last. It is almost as if I can hear the bells of victory sounding across the land, though I can’t of course. Many people are angry about the referendum for some reason. The victorious peeling of the bells are only ringing in the confines of my head, though if I had my way, they would ring out in real life.  

I voted to. I  queued up outside our local  polling station, just outside the student flats, the  sociology student with his head held high, ready to  cast my vote. Vyvyan  laughed at me, as usual, saying that I was a soppy little bastard and that I was a girl  for wanting to vote. Neil couldn’t vote. He was too busy cleaning  lentils off the wall and couldn’t spare a moment to place an x in a  box it seems. And Mike? Well Mike hates everything to do with politics. He says that it’s a mug’s game. But personally, I think that he’s trying to hide the fact that he has no idea what he is talking about.  But I, Rick, the most popular member of Scumbag college, voted, and my vote counted.

Sitting in my kitchen, staring at the walls that are still smeared with traces of  lentils and what looks like  soap and breakfast cereal, I am reading the newspaper with what is now the lightest and proudest heart in the entire world. I never thought Britain would escape the clutches of the sodding  European Union, though of course I wanted it so. Argued with my dad the other day. I mean so what if  he’s  squarer than a lego brick, and so what if he does vote Tory. I did think that he would at least vote for the pride of Britain. But no. He voted to remain. So I decided that I would have my say instead.

 I’m tired of Britain being trampled all over by countries that have nothing to do with us, and  by people who none of the working class have ever heard of. I am tired of Britain being the underdogs. I am tired of Britain  having to answer to and obey  laws that are detrimental to our country and I  wanted to stand up and , make a stand.

 I wanted to raise my head above the proverbial parapet for the sake of my fare country and I did so. So I signed an x against the  box of my choice, and did my work for Britain.

I am glad that we have spoken out at last against a governing power that Britain never wanted in the first place. Finally, the voice of Britain has been heard, and finally we have been listened to. We might even get rid of the Tory government and their laws. I certainly hope so. That’ll teach Vyvyan, won’t it? That will  teach him for calling me a girl. I  have helped to save my country. What has Vyvyan ever done?

 Maybe I’ll become even more popular than I am now just  by doing this. Maybe there will be people queuing outside the flat, demanding an autograph  from Britain’s saviour, a student  from a hunble  area of Britain. I would be glad to accept the praise. I would be glad to receive congratulations from people who will raise their glasses to the sky and drink to me, Rick, the sociology student that helped to change Britain for the better and  secure the safety of Britain.

I would like that. That would smack Vyv right in his stupid face.

Rule Brittagnia.

 


End file.
